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Stock Market Report xxx funny or not xxx?

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca-Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
Birds Eye Peas Split.
Stanley Tools filed for Chapter 11.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

brilliant, ace superb ha ha ha

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 27th, 2010 at 11:00 pm and is filed under market report. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Responses to “Stock Market Report xxx funny or not xxx?”

  1. Rainbow Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 4:42 am

    Good ones. thanks
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  2. Sordid lies Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 5:29 am

    LOL,keep them rolling in.
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  3. ropar Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 5:49 am

    caramel candies were a dud!
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  4. skybluecarp Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 6:27 am

    brilliant, ace superb ha ha ha
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  5. luck dragon Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 7:01 am

    ha ha ha funny
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  6. dream theatre Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 7:08 am

    lol
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  7. Tracey Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 7:42 am

    hahahaha
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  8. Tom P Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 8:25 am

    LOL, I like your joke, very good
    References :
    ME

  9. gdc3.rocks Says:
    February 28th, 2010 at 8:55 am

    Good One

    Heres Another
    A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today." His father replies, "What happened?" The boy says, "Well, my teacher asked me, ‘What’s 3 times 2′, and I said ‘6." The father replies, "Well, that’s correct." The boy says, "I know. Then she asked me, ‘What’s 2 times 3." The father then replies, "Well, what the fúck is the difference?" The boys says, "Well that’s what I said!"
    References :
    Me

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